Friday, January 20, 2012

An untitled piece ...

photo by Saddi Khali of
My next collection may be focused on intimate relationships ... seems to be what I write lately ...
i love hard
i’m that “til the end of time” chick
“always got your back” chick
even when you forgot
cheerleader, comforter, confidant
a mirror reflecting all that you are
reminder of who you desire to be
the truth, plain and simple
but loving hard can be a double edged sword
my biggest fault
my greatest reward
i’ve cut myself
placing others in front
shielding my light
hindering my flight
balance is the key
loving you while loving me
knowing above all
that love never fails

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I Dream Again

Sunset @ Myrtle Beach by Shahmet Gordon

I posted a status on FaceBook last week that said the following:
"It just hit me ... I'm not angry anymore ... I'ma see if I can write on that ..."

When asked what I was angry about, I followed up with this:
"once I let it go, I realized I was on a low simmer for years ... some of it was directed outward toward someone who will remain nameless, worse some was directed toward myself ... holding it for so long was not productive & left me in a victim state rather than the victorious state which I am in now ..."

With  Estelle's latest song, "Thank You", playing as my background music, I was able to elaborate on my initial thought ... 

I Dream Again

I tried to build a reality,

a whole life,

on a false belief.

But my love cannot conquer all.

Some things can’t be seen while in the midst.

Like how I never knew the anxiety I lived with

until I provided myself with peace.

I didn’t realize how angry I was

until it vanished.

I dwelled within a box

determined not to repeat mistakes of the past.

Claiming that all was good

while I cried alone in the dark.

Holding no expectations

enforcing no boundaries

not trusting my own judgment.

No longer on slow simmer

burning myself with rage

I feel re-born.

I dream again.

Childhood’s fairytale of being taken care of

in the mansion on the hill with the tennis court,

pool and streams gliding through the premises,

morphed into teen-aged visions of independence and

getting rich at one of the “Big 10” firms,

which transformed to young adult sights of

children, nation building and saving the world.

Now, I dream again.

Grown woman dreams

of passion

of joy

of sharing

of choice

of desire

of dancing

of smiling

of laughing
of companionship

of traveling

of intimacy

of life

of reciprocity

of purpose

of soul mates

of rest

of intensity

of strong arms

of satisfaction

of completion

of truth
of respect

of acceptance

of understanding
of growing old together

of comfort.

I dream again

of the love that never fails.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Welcome to 2012!

I wish you all a healthy and prosperous new year. Many people look forward to the new year because it represents a new beginning, another chance. No matter what the old year brought, there is hope that the new one will be better. I know that some things never change but that is only for those who choose not to see a different way. I believed that 2011 was going to be a great year and it was. There were some hard times but that's a part of life. I ended in a better place financially, physically, spiritually and (I would like to think) emotionally. I believe that 2012 will also be a great year and I look forward to what may come for all of us!