Friday, January 20, 2012
photo by Saddi Khali of www.saddikhaliphoto.com
My next collection may be focused on intimate relationships ... seems to be what I write lately ...
i love hard
i’m that “til the end of time” chick
“always got your back” chick
even when you forgot
cheerleader, comforter, confidant
a mirror reflecting all that you are
reminder of who you desire to be
the truth, plain and simple
but loving hard can be a double edged sword
my biggest fault
my greatest reward
i’ve cut myself
placing others in front
shielding my light
hindering my flight
balance is the key
loving you while loving me
knowing above all
that love never fails
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Sunset @ Myrtle Beach by Shahmet Gordon
I posted a status on FaceBook last week that said the following:
"It just hit me ... I'm not angry anymore ... I'ma see if I can write on that ..."
When asked what I was angry about, I followed up with this:
"once I let it go, I realized I was on a low simmer for years ... some of it was directed outward toward someone who will remain nameless, worse some was directed toward myself ... holding it for so long was not productive & left me in a victim state rather than the victorious state which I am in now ..."
With Estelle's latest song, "Thank You", playing as my background music, I was able to elaborate on my initial thought ...
I Dream Again
I tried to build a reality,
a whole life,
on a false belief.
But my love cannot conquer all.
Some things can’t be seen while in the midst.
Like how I never knew the anxiety I lived with
until I provided myself with peace.
I didn’t realize how angry I was
until it vanished.
I dwelled within a box
determined not to repeat mistakes of the past.
Claiming that all was good
while I cried alone in the dark.
Holding no expectations
enforcing no boundaries
not trusting my own judgment.
No longer on slow simmer
burning myself with rage
I feel re-born.
I dream again.
Childhood’s fairytale of being taken care of
in the mansion on the hill with the tennis court,
pool and streams gliding through the premises,
morphed into teen-aged visions of independence and
getting rich at one of the “Big 10” firms,
which transformed to young adult sights of
children, nation building and saving the world.
Now, I dream again.
Grown woman dreams
of soul mates
of strong arms
of growing old together
I dream again
of the love that never fails.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
I wish you all a healthy and prosperous new year. Many people look forward to the new year because it represents a new beginning, another chance. No matter what the old year brought, there is hope that the new one will be better. I know that some things never change but that is only for those who choose not to see a different way. I believed that 2011 was going to be a great year and it was. There were some hard times but that's a part of life. I ended in a better place financially, physically, spiritually and (I would like to think) emotionally. I believe that 2012 will also be a great year and I look forward to what may come for all of us!