Sometimes I get in a mood which I call "having a moment". The more time that passes, the further away I am from the effects of the post traumatic stress disorder, the better I am able to handle things that trigger me, the less I have these moments. I have experienced a couple of losses during the past year, so I recognize that grief brings on these moments too. But all in all, I haven't had one in a while - well, tonight is one of those moments. Actually, I have been feeling some kind of way for a couple of weeks now. I have a pretty good idea of what the cause is; just have to figure out how to navigate this juncture in my life.
So with that said, I have no profound observations tonight (or this morning since it's after midnight). Just doing my normal stuff. Went to work, came home, hung with the offspring a bit, went to the laundry-mat. I am marveling at how warm it still is to be early October - so I'm sitting on the terrace in shorts & T-shirt, sipping a Mike's Hard Mango Punch, listening to Adele (& Jazmine Sullivan & Timothy Bloom, & Sam Cooke), and chilling ... being in the moment because sometimes we just have to. Sometimes, we just have to accept all that we are feeling and let it be. Can't stay there, that's why its just a moment - but for that time, it's ok to just sit, reflect, cry, whatever ... then I will get up, go to bed, and God willing, wake up again to take another crack at life.
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